The first in a line of peer blog reviews- Kathy

Kathy-

Your first entry, the one about a man and his father that has Bell’s palsy, is a very well written post. I love how you started with a question, and then answered it, because starting with a question helps the reader come up with their own answer, before you have time to actually answer it yourself. It helps the reader stay engaged in the text, and really helps focus for the person with the attention span of a peanut (mainly me.) But let’s get deep and dirty into this blog post, I think it’s helpful that you split up each paragraph, and kept it one quote to a paragraph, this helps a reader quickly move through the text, and helps prevent them from becoming bored. I also loved the quote that you picked to show diction, because it really is a good example of how the man wanted to show his father in a positive light. No doubt you did a stunning job on this post.

                Your open prompt responses are very in depth, I like how you compared the three beginning paragraphs to each other. I think I might have said this before, but I really love how I can hear your voice shining through the text. I might be sitting on my bed in my pajamas reading your blog, but it still feels like I’m having a conversation with you. I think its very important to touch on the fact that of what each essay writer got. I think that the scores were posted for each essay, so I would advise you to put those on there next time. The last thing that I would like to bring to light is your opinion of the text. I know that you picked each essay apart, and you did a fantastic job with it, but as a whole, how did you feel about each individual piece? How do you think that it should have scored? Do you think that their score was fair? Answer those three questions and you are golden!

                I’m not going to lie, when I read the first few sentences, I was worried that you were just writing and overview, and that I was going to have to police it. I’m glad then, to say that you actually turned it around and built on what we talked about in class. I like that you took time and actually looked Albee up, I found it interesting that you found a lot of information on him before we discussed it in class. I think I’ve stumbled into something quite lucky, you are in a different class (with different people, imagine that!) And so reading about your class discussion, while thinking of my own discussion with a different class, its interesting to see the contrasts of the two. I like how you wrote about mommy chasing the American dream from the beginning, but in our class we said that she was shaping the American dream by mutilating it. Neither answer is more correct, its just an interesting thing to think about.