A post in which I will write about three AP literature/ English writing tests. Here goes.
The first entry is very nicely written, the overall structure of it is organised and keeps to her thesis, the comparing and contrasting is very versatile. I found it to be very well written, and not repetitive (as we all know happens when writing an essay.) I did notice that some of the comparisons were a bit unfocused, where it seemed like she didn't really know what she was talking about, or maybe she was struggling to make her thoughts solid. Any way, that would be my only complaint, the essay was well worded and flowed quite nicely, not to mention the beautiful imagery that she used to set the theme.
Okay, so the next essay isn't as nice as the first. Its quite awkward to read, with some really bumpy sentences that a reader just doesn't want to encounter. Another thing that I noticed was that after quotes, he /she put the line number down, this is usually only used when one is paraphrasing something. after that I did notice that the writer just didn't compare and contrast. They went into such great analysis of each individual work, but then totally forgot the do one of the most important things when given two similar works. Don't get me wrong, the analysis was in great depth, with multiple quotes in each section. but without the actual comparison, it means nothing. The last thing that got to me was the fact that the last sentence/ paragraph seemed like it was just floating out there by itself. I think that the writer ran out of time or something because it was really choppy and a bit confusing.
The third response is pretty bad. it is three paragraphs of what a child could have written. There was no analysis of the poems, there was one part that paraphrased a line and then called it good. there was only one comparison, and the last thing that the writer said was: "Both authors do indeed capture their audience and leave them with a thought." Not only is this poorly worded and makes the reader uncomfortable, it is also half of the last paragraph. Thats right kiddos, that is one- sixth of this person's essay. If you plan to write a short essay, I hope that you listen to me on this: make every line count! This essay is a great example of someone not knowing what is happening in the poems and is just throwing words down onto a sheet of paper. Not only that, but the claims that this person made in their essay were not backed up and left the reader wanting more. It also fell a bit short on development and that can cause some confusement for the readers.
Rachel,
ReplyDeleteFor the open prompt blog post assignment you were supposed to choose a prompt in which the student selected the literature to analyze. This question involved the prompts already having been chosen.
Hi Rachel,
ReplyDeleteI think I know what Mariah was taking about...and I believe you read the wrong thing. But anyway...I liked how you criticized the students in a way that made me feel that you knew what to look for. I would have liked to see a few specific examples of what the student did however. I would have also been more specific when analyzing the students' essays. Instead of using vague words such as 'awkward', I'd explain exactly why it was awkward. I'm not quite sure how else to say since this isn't what we all read...but nice job anyway. Seeing that you put effort and did what you thought was the work at the time, I wish you luck that Ms. Holmes counts this for you!
ReplyDeleteRachel,
I think I now understand what Kathy and Mariah are saying. I think I made the same mistake as you with reading the wrong thing. I guess I was a bit confused by the directions. Apparently in an open prompt the literature going to be analyzed is not chosen for the students.